2010-09-01

Hey kids, watch me pull a 12-year-old out of my pants — Magician gets 6 years for child molestation

2010-08-23

Man loses arm wrestling match, then gets in his truck and tries to run down a group of people

2010-08-17

When you decide to rob a bank- 1.Do not leave your debit card at the bank. 2. Do not write the robbery note on the back of a perscription of yours. 3. Do not lock yourself out of your apt. 4. Above all, do not do all three

2010-08-09

JetBlue flight attendant gets into a tiff with passenger, wigs out, pops the emergency chute and slides away.

2010-08-03

Tired of waiting in ER for medical help, man takes needle and thread, sews up own leg. May be charged with improper use of hospital equipment

Man who shot himself in the legs causes standoff

2010-07-20

Woman shoplifts hamburger by shoving it down the front of her pants. Bonus: Deputies tipped off by "large grease stain on front of her pants"

2010-07-19

An unusually high number of Swedish golfers have reported being bitten by vipers while handling their balls in the rough

2010-05-31

"A 40-year-old Kingston woman is facing criminal charges after she repeatedly slugged a male companion before staging an impromptu striptease for police officers."

2010-04-28

Owner of "Bikini Girls Massage" business fined for not making clear to jobseekers that the work involved wearing bikinis and giving massages.

2010-04-22

Man throws cheeseballs at woman and discovers a whole new meaning of lactose intolerant

2010-04-21

Man dons bad idea jeans, crashes stolen car into multiple vehicles, tries to hijack city bus, gets shot by citizen and waits for paramedics in burning car

2010-03-08

Moviegoer stabbed with meat thermometer after asking woman to silence phone

2010-03-02

Man who told police men jumped him and assaulted him with a razor blade actually cut himself by running through the woods shirtless and punching trees

2010-02-09

Actual Headline: Home test for sperm count could leave men in a mess

2010-01-07

When arguing with a your batshiat crazy, steam iron wielding girlfriend: Don't taunt her with crackers and/or loose change

2010-01-06

Attacker kills man after sharing beers with him. Of Coors, the thug wasn't the victim's Bud, so what Foster's this kind of brutality in people? Let's not beat around the Busch. He may have had a Pabst history of mental illness

2009-10-20

Chase ends, driver run over by own vehicle

2009-10-08

Fight breaks out between pilots and cabin crew in mid-flight after co-pilot tries to force his way into stewardess's cockpit

2009-10-06

Nothing attracts teen boys like middle-age woman pulling pants down, inserting tampon, lying on picnic table masturbating.

2009-09-28

Man arrested after getting into a fight with a statue of a goose and punching it in the head. Alcohol may have been a factor

2009-09-22

Not news: Man rolls car. News: He then shoots at people who come to help before fleeing into the bush. Fark: He has no legs

2009-09-08

Man caught by photo radar 37 times says officials can't prove he's the driver because the person in the pictures is always wearing a monkey mask

2009-09-03

Drunk, bloody, spitting man tries to persuade cops that he can't be arrested while naked

2009-08-20

Actual headline: Man versus opossum, cops, Taser

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